How I Became a Nation
by ConfoederatioHelvetica
Summary: How the hell did this happen? Quite simple really. And now I'm stuck in the Hetalia universe with no way to return. I wonder how I'll survive this ordeal...
1. Prologue

The room is dark; the only lit place is where a high-backed velvet armchair stands with a small wooden table next to it. The table only has two things on it. A bottle of Vodka and a small glass. The armchair is occupied by a person, male. His similarity to Russia is striking, but only where his clothes are concerned. He wears the same coat, complete with the star that dangles from his chest like a medal. The same boots, same gloves, and even a scarf, though his is black. His features are completely different however. His hair is ash blond, and short, his eyes blue. His face does not have the same childish look as Russia's, but instead expresses extreme smugness. Clearly he is enormously pleased about something.

"Privyet comrade." he says in a Russian accent, then chuckles and corrects himself "I mean, hello my friend."

His English is slightly accented, but it's an accent that can't be clearly placed, like a blend of many. With one hand he absentmindedly takes the Vodka bottle in one hand and pours himself a glass.

"Who am I you ask? Well, that's something for later. Suffice it to say that although I live in a world of nations, I'm not one of them. Not originally anyway. That's right; I'm just as human as you are!"

He chuckles again, and takes the glass in one hand, swirling its contents around.

"Or I was, depending on how you see it. I became a nation you see, through a very surprising turn of events, but again, that's something for later."  
He eyes the Vodka in his glass, holding it up to his eyes.

"What's that? You think I'm too young to drink Vodka, do you? Well, lucky me that I'm not in your world anymore, the rules don't apply here, just look at little Latvia. Terrible alcoholic. Can't blame him with the stuff he goes through. Anyway," he holds up the glass high, as if he were proposing a toast.

"Nastrovye!" he says, and tips his head back, emptying the contents of the glass in one gulp, and slamming the empty glass back down on the wooden table next to him.

"It means 'cheers' in Russian, if you haven't guessed yet." He says condescendingly.  
He pours himself another glass.

"Am I Russian? No, of course not, well, again, not originally, although I have learned the language over time while here. I guess now you can call me Russian, even though I am a separate nation."

He laughs again.

"A con for the ages! Do you know how difficult it is to just make up a nation? There are all sorts of implications…How did I manage it? Well, I was lucky, let's just leave it at that."

Instead of taking the full glass, he takes the almost full bottle of Vodka and, grasping it by the neck, sets it on his knee, singing under his breath.

"Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, something, something, ladeeda, I'll tell you how I became a nation of Hetalia."

He takes a swig from the bottle.

"You know, I think I just might. Tell you I mean. Would you like to know? I bet you're dying to know…see that's what I thought."  
He grins widely.

"Well then" he says, putting the bottle of Vodka down on the table again "let me just start from the day it all began."


	2. Summoned

Afternoon. History class. My favorite.  
I was just sitting there, waiting for the lesson to start again. I was tense, and each second it seemed that my pulse quickened.  
The reason for my nervousness was the fact that we needed to hold a presentation. A presentation on a nation that we created ourselves. We had to explain the form of government, the state's history, finances, and industry, basically everything that made it tick. The moment we had received this project, ideas had started forming in my head. We could create our own nation! How often do you get to do something as fun as that?  
I knew that most of my classmates wanted to create a perfect state. No corruption, solid finances and as much democracy as possible. But that was no fun. There is no perfect state. There is always something that is not quite right, which could be different.  
I wanted to create a dysfunctional state. And it was clear to me what example I was going to model it after, the Soviet Union. If there was ever a state which was absolutely terrible, it was that one. Besides, during the presentation I would get to use my Russian accent which I'd been perfecting for so long!  
So I sat there, in my left hand I clutched a memory stick, the thing I'd worked on for so long, and which was going to make my presentation completely awesome!  
Then it was time.  
I went to the front of the class, the curtains were drawn, and plunging the room into semi-darkness. The overhead projector displayed a black screen on the wall behind me. Then several words appeared, written in Cyrillic. I had the spelling checked with someone who actually took Russian as a language class. There were subtitles too of course.  
'Commissioned by the state of Ostrogot'  
And under that  
'Approved by the KZB'  
Then the next slide was in, displaying a large title  
'OSSR – the Ostrogonian Soviet Socialist Republic'  
Then the music started. It was the Russian national anthem, which I had thought to be best as a background. I looked at my classmates and saw surprise in their faces, looks that even showed slight amusement. Perfect.  
That was when I started speaking, talking in my thickest Russian accent.

"Privyet comrades, my name is Aleksandr Braginski…"

It hadn't taken long for me to select a name. 'Aleksandr' was the first Russian name I could think of and Braginski…well, it was Russia's name in Hetalia. Not that anyone else got the reference, but it was more of a joke to myself.  
I continued.

"…and I am here today, to tell you about my great home country of Ostrogot"

I gave them a speech I had practiced, a speech that told of the glory of my state, and of the wonders of communism, how capitalism was a failure, and that they all should come and join us in the fight against the Bourgeoisie. Basic Soviet propaganda of back in the day.  
I went on with my inspirational speech until the hymn stopped, and then continued on with more serious matter, like showing them a map of Europe and where Ostrogot was, taking up a large part of Siberia. I explained everything, from history, to the structure of the government, to resources, and laced the whole presentation with propaganda, my logic being that if I overdid it, it would become ridiculous and hilarious, which the idea of communism was.  
After half an hour I was done, and started taking questions. One question from my teacher was very amusing I thought.

"So, with you being communist, not participating in the current globalization going on, doesn't that mean that you're technologically behind?"

It was not a question I expected, but I knew that the eastern block was far behind from the west during that time.  
I answered very uncomfortable it seemed.

"Vell…maybe just a little bit…"

"But you're going to correct that with the next five-year plan, right?"

I nodded "Da"

And that was the end of it.

* * *

**Late evening that same day**

I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror, dressed in my pajamas, thinking about nothing in particular, just wanting to go to bed. When suddenly I noticed that I had started glowing…literally glowing, in a purplish light. I was so surprised that I immediately spat out into the sink. Then I began floating upwards towards the ceiling.  
Sure I was going to hit it hard with my head; I stretched out my hands to protect myself. But I passed right through, and instead of coming out on the roof of the house, the first thing I saw was a darkened room, lit only by candles and that same glow which seemed to come from the floor itself.  
The second think I noticed as I was floating upwards, now with my shoulders starting to emerge from the floor, was a man dressed in black robes, just standing there a few feet away from me, chanting words that made no sense to me whatsoever. He had his eyes closed, and so couldn't see me.  
Then he spoke, loudly, in a commanding voice.

"I have summoned you from the depths of hell. SHOW YOURSELF!"

I had made it out to the waist, when I noticed that there was a drawing around me on the floor. A pentagram I think it's called, a five pointed star enclosed in a circle, with candles at each point where the star intersected the circle.  
Witchcraft?  
Ludicrous! But then how did I get here? Did I fall asleep standing? No, I know when I'm dreaming and dreams never feel like this.  
So it was real.  
And why did this scene look so very familiar?  
At last my feet emerged, the glow subsided, and I was standing there, in my PJ's, toothpaste smeared all around my mouth, with what probably was a bewildered look on my face.  
Then the man opened his eyes, and we stared at each other.  
His expression turned to anger as he scrutinized me.

"I wasn't calling you!"

Then it clicked in my brain.  
It was England.


	3. Tea Time with England

So there I was, so shocked that I couldn't move. At least that creepy purplish glow was gone. Still, I felt a bit exposed, in my pajamas in the middle of that pentagram with candles all around. Quickly, I wiped my mouth, which was still smeared with toothpaste, on a sleeve. Meanwhile, England was furiously flipping through his, what I assumed to be, spell book.  
He looked up at me when he noticed that I was watching.

"Yeah...sorry about bringing you here. Don't worry, I'll send you back in a jiffy though."

"N-no pressure" I stuttered.

"Now where is the reverse spell? Has to be around here somewhere…"

I noticed that his black cloak was swishing around on the stone floor coming within a dangerous distance to one of the candles.

"Eh…sir?" I tried to point that hazard out to him.

"Shh! Be quiet! I just need to find the right page and you can be on your way."

"Yes, but-"

"Ah, here it is!" he had found the right spell it seemed.

Then he began chanting again, and the purple glow appeared, emanating from the pentagram, surrounding me. But all I could watch was as the hem of England's cloak brushed a candle an immediately caught fire.  
I tried again to warn him, but he was so focused on his chanting that he didn't hear me.  
Suddenly he stopped and sniffed the air.

"I say, it smells like burnt crumpets in here."

I was amused by the situation, his whole ignorance as he was clearly on fire.

"That would be because your cloak is burning, sir." I said, smiling.

"Don't be ridiculous! As if anything that silly would ever happen to-" then he noticed as well.

"AHHH! Get it off! Get it off!" He panicked, dropping the spell book.

I saw it fall on the floor, where it lay right next to the candle that England had knocked over. I wasn't smiling anymore. Instead, I dove for the leather bound tome. But it was too late, a page had caught on fire, and within mere seconds, the whole book was reduced to nothing but ash.  
England oblivious to this, as he ran around in circles until he got the idea to pull the robe up over his head, throw it on the ground and stamp on it until all the flames had been extinguished.

"Great! Perfect! Well, at least I'm still in one piece, now, where's my book?"

I pointed to the pile of ashes on the floor.

"I'm afraid it got little bit singed"

I couldn't help but laugh, even though this meant that I was going to be stuck here for…well, forever. Somehow, the idea of it didn't seem to be that bad. This could even be an exciting new start!  
England was far from thrilled, for he was sunk together on the ground, and letting the ashes run through his fingers.  
I thought it best not to do anything, as it might have only enraged him. I knew how much that book must have meant to him, since it was the source of all his power.  
He finally got up then.

"Well, that's it then. No more bloody magic and I can't return you home either."

At this point I'd made up my mind. Even if I could, I didn't want to go home. Who, in my place, would? This place was a thousand times better than wherever his home was now.

"That's all right" I told him "It doesn't really matter to me. I'm sorry about your book though."

He shrugged.

"I've got to look on the bright side, have I not? That was only the book of summoning and banishing, and I've got plenty more. So, now you're stuck here, and you'll have to live in my house for a while, since it's my fault in the first place for being such a bloody careless fool. So, first of all, may I introduce myself. "

He stretched out his hand "I am-"

I cut him off, shaking his hand.

"The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, I know."

He frowned slightly.

"England will do. My siblings and me…we don't get on that well. And you are…?"

It came to me that I hadn't thought of that. I wasn't a nation, what if that mattered? What if he'd throw me out? I didn't have anywhere to go. I'd have to lie, and say that I was a country after all, one that he hasn't heard of yet. A micronation? No, I couldn't just steal someone's identity. That would get weird as soon as the real counterpart showed up. I'd have to make one up, but how? So I said the first name that came to my mind.

"Ostrogot. Pleased to meet yu England."

He raised one very thick eyebrow at me.

"Ostrogot? I don't believe I've heard of you."

I tried to keep my cool, so that he wouldn't notice that I was bluffing. I told myself to stick to the plan. I made that presentation just this afternoon; I should be able to remember everything. What was the reason nobody had heard of me again?

"I vas in isolation…until yu summoned me vith your vitchcraft."

"Strange, the only one who used to pop out of the ground was Russia."

"Ah…interesting."

It seemed like he hadn't even noticed that I suddenly had an accent. Probably because he had been too busy with his book before. All the better for me.

"Say, it must be a bit breezy with only what you're wearing" he commented, sizing me up.

It was true, I was shivering. The stone floor was cold; we were probably in the basement or something.

"Let's get you something more suitable, you can't walk around in such indecent attire all day."

So then England outfitted me with some spare clothes he had, a sandy brown uniform, contrasting to his green one. When I had finished dressing, he looked at me critically.

"So, what do you think?"

I stood in front of the mirror, turning this way and that, and then I spread my arms.  
"Bit short, isn't it?"

It was. The sleeves didn't quite reach my wrists, and was short around my ankles as well. It's not that the uniform was old and that England had outgrown it. The uniform might have fit England perfectly, but the fact was that I was simply taller than him.  
He noticed this, and his face flushed red in embarrassment.

"Hey! Are you saying I'm short? Just be grateful that I had any clothes for you!"

Again, I thought his outbreak was quite funny.

"Calm down, good sir, I meant no offence by it; I vas just remarking my observations."

Using high-class language was a sure way to calm him down, I thought. And I was right.

"Ah…of course, forgive my slip of manners."

Again, he was embarrassed, but for a different reason. I continued to look at myself in the mirror. This was a new experience; I hadn't worn a uniform before, even if it was a bit short. I thought that the look suited me.  
"So, vot vill happen now?"

"Why don't we go have some tea together, and you can tell me all about yourself. I'm most interested to hear your life's tale."

And that's how we ended up having tea together. There was also a plate of crumpets, but I didn't dare touch those, not after everything that I'd heard about his cooking. Not to be rude though I tried eating one. Biting into it nearly broke my teeth, and when I finally got to chewing it, it was like sawdust in my mouth. I swallowed with great difficulty, and threw the rest out of an open window when he wasn't looking.  
He then began to ask me questions, pausing to sip from his cup in a very dignified fashion. I answered as best as I could, and felt it surprisingly easy to remember everything that I'd said in my presentation. Some things he asked questions to that I didn't have anything written on when presenting, so I made up those answers, and formed them as convincing as possible.  
He was almost done with his 'interrogation' when he asked me:

"Are you by any chance related to Russia? Seeing as you were founded by one of his bosses and all?"

I knew I couldn't pretend I was, we looked far too different, besides, England would ask Russia, and my whole identity would crumble. So I decided to turn it around  
"Net. Ve don't look anything alike, do ve?" I answered, the last not being a question, but rather a reprimand. I was trying to make him feel stupid for having asked it in the first place.

He wasn't affected by it the way I'd hoped.

"I just thought because you were both rather large" he said, taking another sip from his cup.

"One final question" he said.

I wondered what would come next.

"You said that you were a soviet socialist republic."

"Da, dat's correct."

"Then why are you so openly? Why is it that you're not spouting heinous comments about me being a dirty capitalist and such? Why do you even speak English?"

I admit, he almost got me with that one, but I recovered from the shock of the question. I needed to take a sip of tea myself. All this talking in an accent had dried out my mouth completely, and I was this close to getting a sore throat.  
I turned my head sideway, looking out of the window. I focused on nothing in particular, giving me that glazed, far-away look, as if I was remembering something very unpleasant, when I really wasn't.

"It vos not my choice. It's not like I vanted to be vot I am. But I don't have choice. I'm not allowed to contact anyone on outside; I'm not allowed to talk to other nations. I vos confined to my house, vith no one as company, forced to vork hours, producing veapons of all kinds, and marching in cold. But I rebelled in secrecy. I learned about vestern vorld, and I taught myself to speak English, even dough I do have very strong accent."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see England's shocked face. He hadn't expected this, and felt sympathy for me. Why not, after such a touching and sad story? I almost wanted to smile but suppressed the urge.

"Dat yu summoned me is one of best things dat ever happened to me, and I thank yu for it, comrade England, but I have to go back"

Wait a minute. What was I saying? I didn't have any place to go back to! Great, I'd fallen for my own role, and now I was stuck in this dilemma, nicely done, very nicely done. I could have slapped myself at that moment.  
He was silent for a moment, then said gloomily.

"It's probably best if I brought you to Russia then. There is a G8 meeting this evening anyway, you might as well come along."

I nodded, wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into now.


	4. The Meeting

It was the room, the famous one. High windows on the far wall, framed by green curtains, which were at this moment open, allowing light to spill in and give the place a friendly, warm look. The floor was red carpet, and muffled one's footsteps. On the walls not occupied by the windows were paintings if various landscapes, busts on pillars, or cabinets with seemingly precious vases on them. In the middle of the room was a giant oval table. I couldn't resist the urge to touch the wood that it was made of…anyway; it's better than how many people would have reacted. I could just imagine fangirls, either breaking down in euphoric sobs, or else screaming with delight, neither of which would have been very helpful to me in this situation. I almost wanted to thank god that I was born the gender that I was, when I remember that I was supposed to be a godless commie, so I shut my mouth.  
Anyway, the table, at the moment it was empty, since all the nations were milling about, talking to each other.

"What do you mean my hair is ugly you git?!"

"It's true, Britain, wouldn't you like to 'ave such long flowing 'air like me?"

Or as was the case with England and France, arguing. That was okay with me though. England being distracted meant that he couldn't focus on me, and I would have time to look around. No one even took note of me, and I suddenly had a pretty good idea what it was like to be Canada. But again, for the moment that was fine, I would be the center of attention soon enough.  
There were quite a couple more nations here than I expected there to be, which puzzled me since I thought that this was supposed to be a G8 meeting only. Maybe the other nations came as spectators; I think they'd be entitled to do that. What the eight decided probably affect them quite a lot.  
The more I saw, the more I began to believe that every nation there was had gathered here. Even Sealand of all people, Sealand who was not even recognized as a nation! It was lucky that the room was sizable; otherwise there would have been problems. Was this normal? Somehow I didn't think so, and I had a suspicious that this had something to do with me.  
I really hoped that England would do the talking for me, because I don't think I could have managed to tell the lie all over again, but this time in front of almost two dozen witnesses.  
England appeared to have solved his dispute with France, because moments later he joined me, fuming.

"Yu and the other country…yu don't like each other, da?"

"No." he replied "He's such an idiot, honestly. I really wish sometimes that I'd never last control of half of his lands, because then I wouldn't have to deal with the bloody idiot now."

"Vhen does the meeting start, Mr. England?" I asked him, not wanting to discuss the matter of France any further.

England took an old-fashioned pocket watch from his jacket and flipped it open.

"Can't be long now. Supposed to have started two minutes ago, but until everyone realizes that and somebody has woken up Greece…"

I looked around. Greece was leaning against the frame of a window, dozing, his head nodding up and down slightly.

"…it can take several more."

"I see comrade."

He flinched.

"Don't call me that, will you?"

I looked at him and gave him a puzzled expression. Of course I knew I wasn't supposed to call him that. Who in this day and age would like it? Well, except people with a sense of nostalgia, rather than common sense.

"Vhy comrade England?"

Now I was just taunting him with my apparent ignorance.

He looked uncomfortable at my question.

"I'll explain later, it's….it's difficult, and it might be a bit of a shock to your system, so I don't want you passing out before I can introduce you."

So I'd been right.

"These countries are all here because of me?"

"It's a big thing when a new nation gets introduced and recognized as such, though it doesn't happen too often these days, and usually it's in a rather violent fashion."

"So…you are recognizing me as a nation?"

"Well…not quite Ostrogot, there are a few…problems…"

"Like vot, comrade?" I asked him as if I didn't know the answer already.

The shock to my system he mentioned must be the fact that communism isn't a thing anymore. That it fell a long time ago. He thought that I didn't know…I mean that 'Ostrogot' didn't know…I'd already fallen for my role once already, I was not intending on becoming Ostrogot. That would be horrible!  
Before England could answer my question however, Germany called out for all nations to get seated and gradually, one by one, they sidled over to their seats. The nations for whom there wasn't a space reserved at the table, just stood around the edges of the room, watching. England didn't sit down either; he remained beside me as we stood among several other nations.  
On my immediate left was a young, elegantly dressed woman with blonde hair and blue eyes behind a pair of glasses. Part of her hair was made into a long side-braid, with a red bow. She was extremely short, almost absurdly so. If I'd have stood back to back with her, I'd have towered over her. It took me a while to recognize her, but then I remembered her as being Monaco.  
On my right, past England were two Nations. One was Turkey, easily recognizable, and he had his hand on the shoulder of a very small country, just a child. He could only be the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. It was a bit unusual for him to be here, I thought at first, but then Sealand was here as well, and he had come even without the support of a larger nation.  
The first to speak was, as I expected, America, and he spoke with every ounce of carefreeness that he had it seemed.

"Hello! Everyone! I'm glad that you could all come here today, since there are a few things we need to discuss, by which I mean that you're supposed to shut up and listen to what I'm saying."

Beside me I could see England shaking his head. Apparently America was just as insufferable as he was projected to be.

"This is supposed to be a G8 meeting, only for the greatest countries, like me, but so, something has happened that made us change the schedule at the last moment."

I could see questioning looks from most of the nations. So they hadn't been filled in properly. I couldn't say that I liked this, since it meant that I was going to have to tell them a lot, and I was getting more nervous by the second, it was even worse than when I'd been waiting to hold my presentation that morning.

"My fellow nations, here today to introduce himself is a new country. Now you all know the procedure, first there'll be an introduction, and then we'll decide if we recognize a new nation or not. May the nation in question please step forward."

I was about to speak, when suddenly I heard a loud, exuberant voice, one which I recognized immediately.

"Hi everyone! I'm Sealand! A new nation!"

I was so taken aback by what was happening, that I forgot to protest, but England solved the matter for me.

"Now I'll tell ya a bit about myself- agh!"

"I warned you against coming you little brat! I warned you!"

England had grabbed Sealand by the scruff of his neck and was now dragging him out of the room, pulling him along the carpeted floor. Sealand was choking and growing red in the face. Then they vanished out of sight, and even the sound of Sealand's spluttering and England's continued swearing had subsided and left silence behind.  
America was the first to regain his voice.

"False alarm, I guess. Now, to the rest of the meeting-"  
I don't know what kind of devil drove me at that moment, but I found myself walking forward to the front of the room, and before I knew it, I was talking.

"It vasn't false alarm. The little nation just vanted to take dis opportunity and be recognized. He'll be punished for dat soon. I am new nation, and my name is Ostrogot."

I could see the looks of wonder on their faces.

"I know I'm vearing clothes of England. It a long story…"

I looked at Russia. He wasn't smiling. I guess that was good, because if he had, I should have probably flung myself out of the nearest window. Not that it would have helped in the end since we were on the third floor, and I would have ended up with a couple of broken bones if I had. Anyway, he was watching me with the same rapt attention as everyone else. If he bought the story, then the others would too.

"My home is in Siberia. I am very young nation, founded just decades ago, before Cold Var as military base for Soviet. But I grew. I became powerful, with large army, veapons and gas mining industry. Then came fall of Soviet Empire. But I did not fall. I stayed vay I vas, shutting myself off from world, and everyone forget about me. Now, I am back, comrades, and ready to fulfill mission of the Soviet."

I raised my fist into the air for dramatic effect.

"To return Empire to glory! To spread communism! To gain vorld dominance for glory of Soviet!"

A real fire and brimstone line that last one, I'd taken myself by surprise. I felt as if I was slipping into my role more and more, but I needed to draw the line somewhere. As long as I didn't actually believe the nonsense I spouted, I thought I was going to be fine.  
At my worst, America, who had been showing signs of wanting to interrupt me, now backed away in disgust.

"You're a commie?" he asked.

I turned to him and gave him a wicked smile.

"My full name is the Ostrogonian Soviet Socialist Republic, so da, I am communist, you capitalist pig. I have not forgotten."

That made him angry.

"You're living in the past, dude. The Soviet is no more! Communism has proved a failure! It's gone!"

A portly man in a shirt, with dark skin and black hair took the cigar he was smoking out of his mouth and spoke in annoyance.

"I'm still here!"

Of course, Cuba.

"And me!" China had risen from his chair.

Germany crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"China, you're participating in the free market and have one of the fastest growing economies in the world, I think it's safe to say that you've left that time behind you."

"Look at my flag! It's red with stars!" China protested.

"Sit back down, will you?" Germany told him calmly, and China resumed his seat. Germany on the other hand, stood up himself.

"It's clear that we have a problem at hand. Here we have a new nation who admits openly to being communist. Of course, we cannot allow ourselves in today's world to recognize a nation like that."

I was annoyed. There were plenty of nations not approved by a large part of the world that were still fully-fledged countries. So naturally I felt like that according thing to do was to protest.

"Dat's not very fair, comrade. Every nations has right to be recognized. Even little nation like one dat comrade England dragged out…so dat dey can be conquered…"

I thought it was interesting that so few nations had spoken until now, but I guess there wasn't much to say to the subject, or that this event had simply rendered most of them speechless.  
Unsurprisingly it was America, who, yet again, took the initiative.

"My fellow nation, we cannot allow a country like this to be welcomed among our ranks, as it is our duty to keep the world peace!"

Strong words coming from someone with a hero-complex who immediately jumped in any conflict even if it wasn't related to him at all. Besides, my 'agenda' wasn't far off from some middle-eastern countries, and they were still recognized.

"I recognize him."

This statement took me completely by surprise, but I had no doubt in mind about who said it. Across the table, Russia sat smiling complacently, that serene smile that couldn't mean anything good. But at least it wasn't directed towards me.

"W-what?" America stuttered.

"I have made myself clear, da? Who else?" he looked around.

"I recognize him." said Cuba.

"And me!"

America was shaking in anger, and I could hear whispers from all around as nations put their heads together.

"I don't care if rest of yu recognize me or not. I am nation!"

I looked around at everyone in the room.

"And if yu don't see me as nation, then I have nothing to say to yu. Do svidaniya!"

I turned on my heels and walked in the direction of the door. I didn't have any intention to leave, and was hoping that someone would call me to stop, but no one did, and I was already getting nervous, when I heard the scraping of several chairs, and found myself joined by the only three nations that had announced to recognize me, Cuba, China, and Russia.  
Without so much as a single word, we left the room. It was a statement, I realized, old ties die slowly. By showing me their support, they had turned their backs on the free world once more. This was not what I had wanted, but I couldn't stop it anymore, I was swept away, flanked by this formation of red countries, and was doing my best to keep my composure.  
When we had left the room far behind us, Russia put a hand on my shoulder. It would have been a more threatening gesture had he been much taller than me, but as it was; we were almost the same height. His grip was firm, not skull-crushing, but it had a certain amount of force behind it.

"You vill come live vith me now, da?"

It was posed as a question, but to refuse would have been suicidal. So I nodded.

"Da, comrade Russia."


	5. A Dysfunctional Family

Russia's house was in a nicer, quieter part of Moscow. It was a large manor house, which I guess it needed to be to accommodate four nations all at once. It was by no means a pretty house, and reminded me strongly of the soviet concrete block architecture…what can I say; I'm a bit into in architecture. There was a pretty expansive garden as well, which, like the house, looked very well maintained, but this didn't come as a surprise, seeing as Russia had the Baltics tending them, and I remembered that Lithuania had experience as a housekeeper.  
While we were walking up the garden path, I wondered whether every nation lived in their capital city, or if only several did, and I tried to recall the instances when I'd seen the different houses. I concluded that, like their personalities, their housing must be stereotypical. When you think of America, you either think giant skyscrapers, or the typical suburbs. Check. America lived in a large suburban house. When you think of Russia, you think either of frozen wastelands or a bustling metropolis and this seemed to fit the bill.  
Russia stood at the door and rang the old-fashioned bell. Moments later the door was opened from the inside by a young man with long brown hair and a frightened look on his face. I don't think I need to go into more detail as to who that was.

"M-mr. Russia! You're back so soon?" said Lithuania, opening the door full and allowing us to step inside.

Russia only smiled in his innocent was as a reply.

"A-and…who…is this?" he looked at me.

Russia gave a little chuckle.

"This is my little brother."

I literally stood there for a moment with my mouth open before I realized how stupid that must look. Me, Russia's younger brother? What the hell was going on? He knew perfectly well that I wasn't related to him, I still had no idea how much he bought into the story if at all and if he wasn't, then why was he playing along and telling Lithuania that I was actually related to him.  
If you looked at my story and believed it, then we would be sort of related, like England and America were, if not more possibly, but to me there was no way on earth that I could have fooled Russia. Or had I? Was I really that good? I resolved to keep my guard up from now on, and look for any signs that might give me an answer to this question.

"Little…brother?" Lithuania was just as astounded as I was, but he could allow himself the liberty of showing it.

I wondered whether I should introduce myself, and if yes, how? I couldn't shake his hand. That would have been much too fraternal. I decided it would be best to imitate Russia. Hell, if I was his little brother, might as well act the part. So I gave what I hoped to be confident and slightly intimidating smile. I didn't look as child-like as Russia, so there was no way I could copy his innocent look. I thought that seeming deranged might do the trick.

"My name Ostrogot" I said, in my most valiant attempt at a Russian accent yet "and yu are…?"

"L-li-lithuania" he said, stuttering even more nervously than before. My facial expression seemed to have done the trick.

"I remember yu as Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic…" I said.

Stuck in the past, a motto I might as well integrate into my character.  
Lithuania seemed to shrink as a result of the statement. I felt much more confident in my role now. I know, I know, I'm a terrible person and all that for bullying little Liet, but come on, this wasn't really bullying, and I was just seeing if I was scary enough to come off as someone who is related to Russia. I resolved to make it up to him somehow; I expect that I wouldn't need to do much since he's generally treated so badly in this household.  
Lithuania took Russia's coat and scarf and put them on a hook next to the door. He offered to take the jacket the England had given me, but I refused. Outside it had been very cold for the season, I had never been this far north before, and in here it wasn't that much warmer, to I preferred to keep an extra layer on to keep my teeth from chattering. I couldn't blow my cover now by seeming too cold; besides, Lithuania was wearing all of his uniform as well, so it would probably go unnoticed.  
There was a short flight of steps ahead, and Russia lead the way, with me following close behind him and Lithuania coming in last. It was a nice house, far from the ugly exterior, and it even looked very homely, although I could imagine that for three of its inhabitants, this was what hell looked like.

"Sisters! We have a guest!" Russia called out.

For some inexplicable reason they spoke English at home, thank goodness, because if they had spoken Russian, I would have been completely lost. I knew some words, but my vocabulary was virtually non-existent. Anyway, I don't know why they spoke English and I wasn't going to complain, that was for sure.  
Presently, his sisters arrived. Ukraine and Belarus. I don't know what I expected to be honest; they were not what you'd call a typical family.  
The mood in the room at that moment couldn't have been frostier. I don't know if this was normal, or if it was just because I was here, but I can imagine that there isn't a lot of warmth between all of them, not with the history that they had.  
Belarus' eyes immediately shot to me. Of course, I was standing to close to her beloved brother, and she saw me as a rival. Now, I just want to say that her anger was completely misdirected, because first and foremost, I'm not oriented that way. No matter what other countries practiced, I wasn't going to follow their habit of getting way too intimate with other nations of the same gender, the behavior that spawned all yaoi fan girls. It's not like I have a problem with that, it's just…I…well…forget it.  
I could see the hatred in her eyes as she reached behind her back. I could barely catch the glint of the steel before she was upon me.

"Get avay from my big brother!" she screeched in my face.

To my surprise, I had stretched out my hand and caught her arm.  
She was strong, stronger than one would have expected from her slim form, I'll give her that, but I held my ground and for a moment, she struggled, trying to drive the point of her knife into my eye, until Lithuania had the common sense to tackle her.  
It did not end well for Lithuania, because before long she had his arm twisted in her iron grip and was slowly bending back his fingers, Lithuania whimpering in pain.  
"Who have you brought here, big brother?! Vhy is he standing so close to you?! Vhy does he vant to take you avay from me?!"  
I looked at Russia to see how he would react and I was not to be disappointed. This was one of the rare occasions that Russia was completely stumped. Whenever it came to his sisters, he lost all of the apparent invincibility he had, and showed himself from his weakest side, not being able to do anything. I saw a golden opportunity for me to get on his good side, and give him some compensation for supporting me.  
I stepped forward and gave a military salute.

"I am Ostrogonian Soviet Socialist Republic, comrade Belarus, comrade Ukraine, and I am now part of family."

I finished my salute and stretched out my hand in greeting.

"Privyet"

Dinner was interesting to say the least. It was just the four of us, which again didn't surprise me, because with all the mistreatment that the Baltics received, I wouldn't be surprised if they were fed with the scraps from the table. I'm sure it wasn't that bad though, they just had to wait to eat until later, or they ate in the kitchen, I could remember a scene where they did that.  
The table was sparsely decked with a few Russian specialties. Borscht, Kasha, Piroshky, and others that I had no idea what they were called, but they were all simple. History shapes the cuisine of a nation, and this was what centuries of oppression and hunger had produced. On the other hand, there were a great many drinks. 'Festive' apparently meant something different in Russian than in most of the world. I obviously expected vodka, lots of it, but there were bottles of things that I'd never encountered before, and because all the labels were written in Cyrillic I had no idea what they read. I resolved to keep my distance from the strong stuff though, I don't think I could have taken it and the last thing I needed now is to lose my wits. I couldn't imagine what stuff I'd start spouting then, probably worse than if I had been in the hands of the KGB.  
There was hardly any conversation and I remembered what Russia had said once upon a time.  
'…my home is really cold so people hate each other quietly' or something along those lines anyway. It certainly seemed to be true at the moment, but I don't think this hate, it was just plain misery. Probably they would lighten up once they started drinking, but sitting here was almost unbearable. He had placed me at the end of the table opposite from him, so I could see the whole family, Belarus to my right, Ukraine to my left.  
While eating, I noticed that Belarus kept shooting me glances when she thought that I was busy and always looked away immediately when she saw that I had noticed. I couldn't read her expression, although it wasn't the anger and hate that she had showed to me at our first encounter. I wondered what she was up to. And what Russia was up to. I still wasn't convinced that he bought into my story; he's not the type of nation whom you could trick.  
After a while, I could bear it no longer. I had been eating all this time without drinking a single sip from my glass. I was extremely paranoid, and if it wasn't vodka in there, then it must be poison. The temptation had grown steadily over time. Usually I drink about a liter to every meal. Yes, a liter, go look it up if you're not familiar with the metric system.  
So, not caring what was in it anymore, I grabbed the glass and downed it all in one, and action which I hoped would seem particularly Russian. I was expecting a burning sensation from the alcohol. What I had not expected is a pleasant taste of lemon, ginger and mint, soft and cool. I was so surprised I held the glass before me in mid-air before I found my ability to speak again.

"Comrade Russia," I asked "Vot is dis?"

"Kvass" he replied simply "Have you not tasted it before?"

"Net…such things are not very common at my home…"

"And vot about vodka, brother Ostrogot?" he said. He had referred to me as his brother for the second time now "You can't tell me you have not had Vodka."

"'Drink is the joy of the Russian'" I said, quoting one of the countless Czars from Russian history "Da, I know, but I vos never allowed. All rationed, and Vodka is not priority production."

I thought this fitted nicely into the story of being a country cut-off from the rest of the world. Everything is so limited, even Vodka has become secondary, something that would never happen in Russia for sure.

"Then you must try, da?" he said, with his signature smile.

How could one refuse that?  
I grabbed the bottle and poured myself a miniscule amount. On the other side of the table, Russia did the same. His sisters just kept on eating. He raised his glass, and so did I.

"Nastrovye!" he said, happily.

"Nastrovye" I agreed, hesitated, then downed the contents.

It was lucky that I had something to drink before, because I almost chocked on the vodka. I kept a poker face though, and to relieve some of the flames that seemed to be rising up inside my stomach, I shook my head vigorously.

"Good, da?" Russia said, amused at my reaction.

"Da…" I croaked, my throat had suddenly gone very dry.

"Vibachte" I said, hoping it meant 'excuse me' and stumbled from the table.

I felt like I was going to throw up, and needed a bathroom before I did. Russia wouldn't be too pleased if I puked all over his nice clean floor. I wonder how long her forced the Baltics to polish it, and whether they had been, made to clean it with toothbrushes. Speak of the devil; I saw three heads peeking out of the doorway ahead of me.

"Yu!" I shouted, hoarsely.

The Baltics, surprised and scared, lost their balance and fell over, lying in a heap on the floor. I strode over to them and pointed at Lithuania.

"Litva! Show me lavatory, nov!"

He scrambled to obey, and I followed him, leaving the other two behind. He showed me where it was, and I stood at the sink, gulping water, and washing my face for no apparent reason.

"Will you be needing anything else, Mr. Ostrogot?" he said in his quavering voice.

"Go." I gurgled to him. He didn't need telling twice and hurried off.

I closed the faucet and looked at myself in the mirror. If Russia wasn't going to kill me, then the vodka would for sure.

I got a room in Russia's house, a whole room to myself. I wondered who it belonged to. I knew that the Baltics all slept in one bed, and asked myself why, when there was a whole room available. Part of Russia's doctrine, I concluded. I wasn't going to complain, I didn't much fancy sharing a room with him. I shuddered at the mere thought.  
I was feeling better. The water that I drank afterwards helped relieved the burning, and I resolved not to touch the stuff again, and stick to the Kvass instead.  
The room was dark, the curtains drawn, and it was large too. I'm not afraid of the dark. Normally. But this house was creepy. Not because of the house itself, but because of who lived in it. I half expected someone to come tearing in at any moment, and drag me out of bed and bring me o some dank underground cell for questioning. But time past and no such thing happened. My breathing normalized itself, and I drifted into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning I woke up, or rather, I slept, but I was aware of what was happening around me. That half-sleeping phase when one of your parent's comes into your room much too early in the morning and immediately starts talking to you even though you're in absolutely no condition to understand what they're saying. That sleep. I felt a pressure on the covers.  
_The cat _I thought _Someone let the cat into my room_  
Any moment now expected something to brush against my face and hear a purring sound, but nothing happened. The pressure on the sheets remained. It seemed to be too heavy for a cat though, much too heavy.  
I still didn't want to open my eyes, what a nightmare I'd had. Awful.  
I finally managed to open my eyes a bit, and found myself staring into two deep dark blue abysses. I yelled, scared half to death and tried to get as far away from the sight as possible, because the one who was sitting on my bed, whose face had been directly in front of mine just a fraction of a second ago, was none other than Belarus.

"Yu scared me comrade!" I shouted at her "Don't do dat again! Yu got it?"

I could really see the aura rising around her, and suddenly the sunlight that had been shining through the curtains seemed extinguished as an air of dread filled the room and I knew: this was the end.  
Her eyes had gone crazy, like she wanted to tear my soul out of my body and rip it to shreds with only her gaze. I wouldn't have put it past her either. And she had that weird psychotic grin on her face, one that I'd seen before, but was too terrified to know where and when she spoke; it was in the same hiss as when she'd attacked me with a knife.  
But I wasn't prepared at all for what she said.

"Marry me."


	6. From Russia With Love

„Chto?" I gawked at her.

She crawled closer to me, still with that aura around her, and it was starting to envelop me. Her voice had suddenly acquired a demonic echo that chilled me to the bones.

"Marry me marry me marry me marry me…"

I'm not ashamed to admit that at that moment I've been more scared than at any other moment in my life, EVER! She literally almost scared the living daylights out of me.  
I did what anyone else in my situation would have done, and got the hell out of there.  
I pulled me legs up to my chest, sprang out of bed with a nimbleness that I hadn't know I possessed, and tore out the room, slamming the door behind me to deter her, because if I knew one thing about Belarus it was that she wouldn't give up.  
I ran down the hall, shouting at the top of my lungs.

"RUSSIA!"

I heard a crash behind me, and knew that Belarus must have somehow managed to hit the door with such force, that it smashed right into the wall opposite the entrance to the room and now she was shrieking after me.

"Come back big brother! Come and marry me! You know you vant it!"

Hell no.  
In full sprint I turned my head to look how close she was, and almost missed the turn.  
I slammed into the wall with my hands first, recovered, too the right and sprinted off again, running for my life.

"RUSSIA!"

Ahead of me I saw Ukraine, carrying a basket full of eggs. I slowed down just in time to stop myself from sending her and the basket flying.

"P-privyet brother." she said.

I held her by her shoulders in a manner of great urgency.

"Comrade, vhere is Russia?"

She pointed further down the hallway with one hand while balancing the basket with the other.

"Dovnstairs." she said.

I gave her a fleeting smile.

"Spasibo" I thanked her, and ran off in the direction she had pointed me.

I came to the staircase and practically jumped down the flights. I could just hear a muffled thump and a shriek from Ukraine as Belarus knocked her aside to get to me and sent the basket flying. Poor Ukraine ended up on the floor, basket next to her, and she herself and the floor around her covered in egg white and egg yolk, slowly dripping from her hair and staining her clothes. Her sobs faded away as I gained more and more distance.  
I had reached the bottom of the stairs when Belarus was at the top, for I could hear her feet pattering down the wooden steps. I jumped the last flight and ran through the living room, no one there, through the kitchen, deserted.

"RUSSIA!"

Suddenly he appeared in the door that led from the kitchen to the garden. He was clutching a bunch of sunflowers and smiling nonchalantly.

"Da?" he asked.

I was about to shout at him, when I hear a rush of wind behind me and turned just quickly enough to be knocked over by a flying mass of hair and fabric.  
I landed on the floor, banging my head hard. Hammers and sickles danced in front of my eyes and my vision was blurry, but I could feel the weight of Belarus on my chest. She was trying to pin me down, restrict my movements as much as possible. Problem was, I couldn't breathe much either.

"Don't you run avay from me again!"

"Get off me, comrade, get off me!"

"Marry me! Marry me now!"

I was not going to let myself be defeated by a girl, no way. I couldn't have lived with that, especially not since it was Belarus. If I didn't get up off the ground, then I would likely stay here until she could think of doing something else to me.  
I struggled against her, trying to throw her off, and I shouted at Russia.

"Vot is meaning of dis, comrade Russia?!"

"I don't know vot you mean." he said innocently.

I tried to move my arms, but she wouldn't budge, her fingers clenching my wrists so much that I saw my hands starting to turn blue. I gasped for air.

"Yesterday she vas still crazy about yu! Vhy not anymore?! Vot did yu tell her?!"

Belarus had her knees planted firmly on either side of my chest. I was going to be neigh impossible to get her off me, unless…  
Russia gave a chuckle.

"I only told her the truth."

I gathered up all my strength and rolled sideways. Belarus was unprepared for this maneuver and fell to one side. She released my arms and instead I grabbed hers. In the blink of an eye, our positions were suddenly reversed, and I was the one staring down at her, while she struggled to get free. I breathed hard. It had not been an easy task, although it was fortunate that she was so slim, otherwise I would have never been able to accomplish it.  
Then she stopped struggling and I felt her whole body slump as the tension was relieved. I slowly got to me feet and looked at her, all puffy; her hair all over the place and her clothes pulled this way and that from our wrestle. I wiped my brow with the back of my hand, surprised to discover that it was moist.  
She gave me a defiant look. It seemed as though I had been victorious.  
I offered her my hand.

"If I let yu up, comrade, yu vill promise not to attack me again, da?"

She didn't say a word, but grasped my hand and I pulled her to her feet. She did not however, let go.  
Once again, I addressed Russia.

"Vot yu tell her, comrade? Vhy she change her mind from one day to next?"

Russia smelled at the sunflowers, taking in a deep breath from the scent. Russia loved sunflowers, I remembered that.

"I told her who you vere, comrade. Only that."

"But vhy…?" and then suddenly I realized.

Belarus wanted to marry Russia to return the family to the glory days of the Soviet Union. I remembered from reading an article on the country that this was very much true. Statues of Lenin still adorned the streets, and there was a secret service, although it no longer called itself the KGB. It was obvious that the government was a collection of nostalgics, and I'm sure many of the people felt so as well. But Russia, as deranged and mentally unstable as he was, didn't want to marry her and create a new Soviet, for he had turned his back to communism. That's when I had come along, a proclaimed communist nation, so similar to what Russia used to be during the peak of the Soviet, that Russia wouldn't have even needed to lie to her. He was right; telling Belarus the truth was all he needed to do. Belarus didn't want to marry for affection, no matter how much she told him 'I love you'. She wanted to marry him for a specific purpose. And whereas Russia was unwilling and able to resist, I presented a far better candidate to her.

A while later I was in the shower, rinsing off the sweat that had collected while I was chased through the whole house, and while wrestling with Belarus. I needed new clothes too; I couldn't walk around in that pajama all day. While washing my hair, I hear a knock on the door, almost drowned out by the rush of the water.

"Chto?" I called out.

The door opened.

"M-mr. Ostrogot…sir. Mr. R-Russia told me I should bring you this."

I was behind the curtain of course, but if there was one thing I hated more than any other, it was being bothered while taking a shower.

"And dat couldn't no vait until I'm finished?! Yu don't disturb someone who is taking shower!" I shouted at him. I could just imagine him cringe, and this was one of the rare moments that I thought he deserved it.

"I…I just brought you fresh clothes…"

"Den put dem dovn and get out!"

"Y-yes…"

Moments later I heard the door shut again as Lithuania exited.

I finished my routine, turned off the flow of water and stepped out of the shower. The room was steamy, I liked to shower hot, and the mirror was all fogged up. I dried off my hair, and then took notice of the pile that Lithuania had left behind. It wasn't the uniform that England had lent me, but all the same, it was something that looked oddly familiar.  
I examined the different articles of clothing, and there was no doubt; Russia had given me some of his things to wear. The same pants and boots and gloves, and even a heavy tan coat that looked identical to Russia's, complete with that yellow star medal.  
I had no idea what to make of this, but I was guessing that Russia felt generous today, and it would have been very unwise for me not to wear it.  
Deciding it wouldn't have been very smart to go out of the bathroom with only a towel around my waist while holding up a pile of clothes, I chose to get dressed in here instead.  
By the time I was done, the steam had cleared somewhat, and I could see myself in the mirror. It was still covered in droplets of water in places, and for a moment, I thought I saw Russia; I looked so similar to him in my new clothes. The only thing about my appearance that was different apart from my face was that I didn't have a scarf, but I didn't expect him to provide me with one, since his own had been a gift from his older sister.  
If anything, these clothes had one good aspect about them; they were sure to keep me warm on the coming months.  
Was it really generosity that he gave me some of his things? Or was there another, more sinister purpose behind it? Yes…there was. This should make me appear more like Russia, and therefore much more attractive to Belarus, even though the way I saw it, she didn't need much persuading anymore.  
Strange…these clothes were…different. There was something more to them than just simple fabric. I could feel their weight on my shoulders, but I could also feel a weight on my mind. Curious…could it be that…? No, that would be ridiculous…

I left the bathroom and wanted to go downstairs again, but I heard a small noise coming from nearby. It was the noise of someone crying.  
I wondered who it might have been, and went to search for the source.  
A room down the hallway was ajar, and from there the noise was emanating. Cautiously I peeked in, and saw a simple bedroom, not much adornment making it look like it had been vacated until recently, or the person occupying it had a very spartan taste. Then I saw who was crying.  
It was Ukraine. She was lying facedown on the bed, shaking slightly as she sobbed.  
I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It was her whole predicament as a nation that had always touched my heart. I had always wanted to hold her, comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be all right, and now I had the opportunity.  
I knocked on the door, even though it was unnecessary. I thought I might as well be polite.  
Shocked, he suddenly turned to look at me and I saw her red eyes and her tear-streamed face.

"V-vot do you vant?" she asked me, sniffing slightly.

"Vibachte…I couldn't help but hearing yu, sister."

She started sobbing anew.

"I'm so horrible! Now even you know that I am crying all the time! I'm so embarrassed!" she buried her face again in the mattress.

I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Sister…vhy are yu crying?"

It might have just been the usual reasons, but I suspected that this time it was something more, and somehow connected to me.  
Her voice came out muffled through the sobs and because of the fact that she had pressed her face down against the bed.

"This morning I vas just minding my own business vhen you came running at me. And you stopped…and you thanked me for telling you something…you smiled at me."

"Eh…da…"

I had no idea where she was going with this.

"And then sister came and knocked me over, and she said she vanted to marry you…and I don't understand, she vanted to marry little brother, and now you. And I love little brother, but now I love you too, and I don't know what to think anymore!"

She cried again.

My mind was blown. Is this the result of me becoming a nation? I had upset the balance of everything! And all thanks to being a stupid liar and my selfish desire to experience what it was like to be a nation. And now Ukraine…I didn't know what she meant by 'love'. As far as I knew, she only ever had sisterly affection for Russia, not something deeper. Or was that wrong? Was there more? There was that one song…it could be a clue. But why me too now? I didn't understand. I knew that Ukraine could cry over tiny issues, so I guessed that this was the case now.

"Look at me, sister."

"Nemye" she refused.

"I said: look at me!"

I grasped her by the shoulders, and made her sit up. She face was even more tear streamed, trails of where they had run down were visible, and even her shirt was stained by droplets. Then I embraced her, like a brother would, and gave full expression to my deep-rooted sympathy to her. She didn't resist, but lay her head on my shoulder as I held her there.  
We stayed this way for a while. I could feel her warmth, her breathing on my neck, and her heartbeat in my chest. Yes, she had 'vast tracts of land', but I didn't heed them at that moment.  
After a while I let go.

"Everything vill be fine" I reassured her, and left, feeling very good about myself.

When I entered the living room, Russia and Belarus were waiting.

"Vot is it?" I asked them.

Russia smiled.

"You have not seen much of the city, da?"

"Njet, I haven't"

His smile broadened even more.

"My little sister vants so show you around so you get to know it."

I eyed her nervously.

"Ah…how nice."

"And this vay you can also get to know each other a little better before you get married, da?"

I knew it; this was all just another step towards marriage. Now I knew that Russia was pulling the strings here, he just wanted me to get Belarus off of him. So far he had succeeded, and now he wanted us to marry as quickly as possible to get the deal sealed and have peace from her forever.  
There was no way I could resist. In the blink of an eye, Belarus was at my side, holding on to one of my arms.  
I looked down at her, and was struck by her beauty. Something had changed. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't scared half to death anymore of being torn to pieces by her, or maybe it was something else, but I noticed that she was very pretty why, if her expression had been just a tiny bit friendlier, she would have been positively cute. As it was, she was a beauty, but a cold one. An ice queen.

"One moment, brother." Russia called as we made to walk away "You might need this…it can get cold outside. I think you'll like it, da?"

He handed me one of those typical Russian fur hats, 'Ushankas' they were called. I turned it over in my hands. It felt like genuine fur, it felt like it was the real deal. And I wasn't to be disappointed. When I turned it to look at the front, I could see a metal badge. The golden sickle and hammer in a red star, superimposed on a golden laurel wreath. This was an antique from the Soviet era, and for someone who appreciated history like me, this was a priceless gift.  
I smiled in spite of myself.

"Spasibo, comrade."

I put it on my head, put my hands behind my back, Belarus still clutching one of my arms, and marched to the front door. Suddenly a thought crossed my mind that would change my life even more.

_I'm digging this_


	7. Moscow

Moscow was a beautiful city all in all I found after touring it for the best part of the morning. Belarus was an excellent tour guide, although her knowledge about the city concerned mostly one aspect, that of pain and suffering, of how many people had died in building the structures we walked past, which squares had seen massacres during the revolution and other uprisings, which buildings had been offices of the KGB. Although her knowledge wasn't only restricted to those topics. When it came to the glory of the Soviet motherland, she was very knowledgeable. I especially enjoyed the Ploschad Revolyutsii, or Revolution Square, with its many grand hotels.  
The city was large, a giant bustling hive of human activity, and clearly the architects of times past had put quite some thought into designing it, judging by it's many ring streets and highways. We even took a ride on the famous Moscow metro that spread like a web underneath the city. There was so much mystery surrounding this underground transport network. I was a dangerous place if you didn't happen to be a commuter. And it wasn't only used for transportation, the giant blast doors at the entrance to each of the stations proved that. This could also serve as a bunker, sealed off hermetically from the surface to withstand nuclear Armageddon.  
The weather was cold, I was glad I had my hat. Even though it was March, the temperatures hovered around freezing point. Russian winters were long and hard it seemed. There was still snow in shady places that had been protected from the suns glare. At the moment it was cloudy though, which served me just fine, since I would have grown warm walking around in this coat.  
Another thing that struck me as odd was that no one gave us so much as a second chance, even though we looked like a pair of Russia and Belarus cosplayers, and I had my hat on, sporting the emblem of the Soviet Era. But no one noticed, their glances seemed to just slide off us. Was this how it worked in this world? It gave me confidence, for I concluded that only countries would have this ability, and the fact that I shared it, meant that even the rules of this reality were bending in my favor.  
A visit to the Kremlin and Red square was of course mandatory. It was impressive to say the least. Empty now, but I could just imagine how it must have looked like during the grand military parades. That there were still piles of snow collected in places, people walking about with their heads bent and their coats fluttering in the chilly wind completed the picture for me, as I stood there looking towards Saint Basil's Cathedral with it's unique onion domes.

During the afternoon we visited some of the more lively places in the city, and probably the liveliest of them all was the Kuznetsky Most, a shopping street, and it seemed to me, an address for the most expensive shops in all of Moscow. Most women would have stopped by each window to look at the wares, and occasionally go into some. Most women would have made several purchases, and I would have been laden with shopping bags, and my purse a lot lighter. As it was, Russia had only given me a few Rubles for meals and transportation, so I couldn't have bought anything anyway. And Belarus wasn't most women. She ignored all the displays, and pulled me right through the crowd of excited shoppers. All I had to do was follow behind her and we had cleared the Kuznetsky and arrived on the other side onto Lubyanka Street.  
When Russia had said that we should get to know each other more, I hadn't known what he meant. Belarus wasn't the conversationalist type, and I dared not ask her any personal questions. Besides, why would I? I knew all relevant facts about her already, and to get to know her better, I would only have to open a history book.  
And speaking of books; up ahead I saw a store that was a far shot from the flashy ones back on Kuznetsky, it looked rather old, and the sign above the window was faded. The writing was in Cyrillic, but there was no doubt about the merchandise for sale. Books of all shapes and sizes. I looked inside the window, and saw that there were shelves upon shelves on two levels. It looked more like a library than a store.  
Struck by a sudden inspiration, pushed the door open and went inside.

"Big brother! Vhat are you doing?" Belarus called after e, and made haste to get behind me.

I held the door open for her as she entered, and a bell chimed. Then the door shut behind us again, and we were standing on the doormat, unsure of what to do, Belarus clutching my arm once again.  
I heard slow shuffling footsteps and second later an elderly man came through a doorway that probably lead to the back of the store.

"Privyet my friends…vhat can I do for you?"

He also spoke accented English, like all nations. All the better for me.

"Privyet comrade. I just vanted to look around if yu don't mind."

"Of course…my store is yours to peruse…shout if you need anything."

I nodded.

"Da. Spasibo."

The shelves were stacked high. Some of the books looked practically ancient, but what I was searching for was hopefully going to be a bit more modern.  
The different categories were also written in Cyrillic, I hand thought of that, so I had to go by looks only. But I knew I would recognize the right book when I saw it, and it was not to be found among these dusty volumes.  
Belarus was still tagging along with me. I could tell that she was bored, even though her expression was the usual frown. I wonder if she would ever smile. But I needed to distract her somehow if I wanted to make this purchase, otherwise awkward questions would be asked. The only thing that interested her was knives…and at the moment, me. But this was a bookstore. Still, I needed to find some way…  
I felt something brush against my leg and looked down to find a small grey kitty walking between my legs. I crouched down and patted it on the head. It purred.

"Ivanko!" I hear the old man's voice "Get avay from nice customer!"

The cat turned on a dime and ran right past me, while the owner of the store approached me with an apologetic look on his face.

"I am sorry my friend, but my cat recently gave birth, and now I haven't three more on my hands, and they are more than I can manage."

"It fine. No problem comrade."

I looked around. Where had Belarus gone all of a sudden? She had been here just a second ago.

"If you are looking for your wife, she followed Ivanko."

"She not my…!"

Did I really look like I was old enough to be married?  
I calmed myself. Now at least I could get a hold of what I was looking for.

"Comrade…do yu happen to have…dictionary?"

"Ah..da, I do have some…vhat language?"

"English-Russian"

The man's face brightened considerably.

"Da! I do! Follow me, my friend."

He lead me through some shelves to a section hat I immediately saw had more recent deitions. He brushed their covers with his finger, and then picked out a yellow, medium-sized book for me.

"Here, that should be vhat you are looking for, da?"

I took the book from him, and began flipping through the pages. It had both Russian-English and English-Russian translations, exactly what I had been looking for. Everything from 'a' for ability 'sposobnost', over 'c' for cat 'koshka' and all the way to 'z' for zucchini 'tsukkini'. I closed the book with a snap and grinned at the owner.

"Da, I vill take it."

He lead the way to the counter where an old register stood. I clanged loudly when he opened it.

"Five hundred Rubles."

I looked through the money I had. Apparently, one Ruble was worth close to nothing. Luckily, numbers were the same no matter where on the world you were, the one universal language in existence, and it was easy to find the right cash. I handed him the note, and he put it in the register, which shut with a satisfying clang.

"Bela!" I called "Ve are leaving!"

There was no answer.  
The old man looked behind him.

"I think she might have gone to see cats."

He motioned me to follow him.  
We found Belarus sitting on the floor, cats gathered around her, all meowing affectionately. And she was holding something in her arms.  
When she heard us coming, she stood up, and held one of the young cats in my direction.

"Look" she said "He looks just like you."

It was true. The cat also had blue eyes, and its fur was straw colored - no – a darkish kind of blond, and it gazed at me with that condescending stare that all cats possessed.  
I took the cat in my own hands and looked at it from every side. If this wasn't a twist of fate…

"Vot do you vant for him?" I asked the store's owner.

"My friend, I cant vait to give them avay. You bought the book, you can take the cat as vell."

"Spasibo comrade. Come on sister, we are going."

I cradled the cat in my arms, and we left the bookstore, the door shutting behind us with the tinkle of the bell. The cat nestled itself against my chest ad closed it's eyes. I stroked it gently.

"For vhat a cat?" Belarus asked me while we walked down Lubyanka Street towards the Lubyanka square and the metro station.

"I like cats…besides, you have cat, Russia has cat, everyone has cat, but not me. Now I have cat too."

She hooked her arms through one of my elbows.

"And vhat vill you call him?" she asked.

"I vill call him…" I thought for a moment.

I would need to come up with a clever name, a combination of my name, and the word 'cat' or a variation thereof. I smiled as I was hit by an idea.

"I vill name him 'Ostroshka'."


	8. Ostroshka

**Catalia – if the world was all about cats**

Meow! My name is Ostroshka. I just recently got a new master, and I now live in a large house together with him. There are also many other cats here, and they were very nice to me when I first came. I'm now best friends with Russicat, whose master is a friend of my master, so we're all a big happy family.  
Apart from Russicat there are also others, like his two sister cats, Ukrainecat and Belaruscat. I think Belaruscat likes me, because she keeps following me around, even when there's nobody else there. Then finally there are the three Baltic cats. I don't know their names, but they're unimportant anyway. They're fun to play with, chase around the house and bite and claw at. Playing together is so fun.  
Today Russicat said that he was going to introduce me to all of the cat community, since none of them knew me yet. It sounds like fun; I can't wait to meet everyone!  
Russicat took me outside, and we were a bit ahead of Belaruscat and Ukrainecat. He is very nice, Russicat, he doesn't like fighting and wants everyone to get along. I like him, but about that I have my doubts…I like getting rowdy with other cats, before master adopted me it was with my siblings, and then with the Baltic cats.  
Russicat said he would take me to some kind of 'catference' where the cats of the world would discuss things together…maybe I cold find someone to fight with there too.

When we arrived I saw so many cats! All were together, gathered around a set of large steps. There were so many! I found it amazing that all of these cats would organize themselves in this way…I wonder what they were talking about.  
Russicat lead the way, and everyone made way for me and Belaruscat and Ukrainecat, they looked so much afraid, even though Russicat is a big softie really. I bared my teeth at them. They should be afraid of me, not Russicat. He wouldn't harm them…much, but I would.  
We sat down at the very front, and now I could hear what they were talking about too. One female cat was on top of the steps, addressing everyone else.

"There is still the matter of the Tuna that we have to discuss. After all the catferences we've had, we still face a shortage of Tuna in the near future. Partly again to your efforts in hoarding it, Japancat."

Ah…Japancat, Russicat had told me a bit about him. For example that he loved his Tuna.  
Japancat immediately launched into passionate speech about the importance of Tuna, and how at his home it was very important in the culture and on and on. I'd never tasted Tuna myself, but with all this talk, I could just imagine what a delicious thing it might be, and I longed to sink my teeth into it.  
I didn't think it was in the general spirit that Japancat would get to keep most of it; I thought we should distribute it fairly. I had to object.  
I strolled over to Japancat, paws softy padding on the ground, and circled him examining him all over.  
He grew very flustered and began to stutter. All his talking about Tuna made me hungry, and I kept licking my teeth.  
Ultimately, Japancat's speech came to a halt.

"Wourd you prease stop warking around me in circres?" he said, very flustered.

I left him, and leapt up a couple of steps so that I was above the lady-cat. I sat down, and licked my paw for a moment, making them wait and wonder who I was.

"My dear cat comrades" I started "I oppose Japancat. You may be blinded by his love for food, and your understanding of his feelings, but I'm not. You see…I've never gotten to enjoy any of the Tuna."

I could see the expressions of shock on many of the cats' faces. No Tuna? They couldn't believe it.  
I stood up, and began pacing, tail twitching from side to side.

"It is not enough that through Japancat's hunger he Tuna supply is reaching an end; he refuses to share it with us."

Japan was even more flustered.

"That is not true! Everyone can have Tuna…I'd be most wirring to share."

I ignored him.

"And surely, my furred friends, Tuna is a common good, a good that we should all have the right to enjoy equally, no matter who has how much."

Another cat objected. Russicat had told me about him too, and so I knew that he was no good. His name was Americat.

"But wait, the ones who gather the Tuna should have the privilege to enjoy it!"

"Not so." I disagreed, bearing my teeth at him.

I hoped I would win the support of some of the cats at least with my next argument.

"Many of us can't get Tuna the same way that you and Japancat can, and what is left for us? We get what is leftover; we get what you don't want. Is that fair? Tuna is a common good! It should be spread equally among ALL cats, no matter who has gathered how much!"

Here were some approving meows from below. Yes, I had them, and soon I would get to enjoy my tuna as well!

"I will order the creation of a committee, a committee that will watch over the Tuna supply, and will award everyone the Tuna that they deserve. Tuna is a common good! Tuna for ALL cats!"

A few started meowing loudly.

"Tuna for all cats! Tuna for all cats! Tuna for all cats!"

And more and more joined in, with several exceptions, including Japancat and Americat.  
I hopped down from step to step, and walked among my meowing supporters.  
Yes, Tuna for everyone, Tuna for me.


	9. Red Nations Rising

For the rest of the day Belarus refused to leave my side, which brought with it some awkward situations. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without her standing outside.  
We ate dinner sitting next to each other, silently as always. Even though we were engaged, conversation between us was scarce, and so was any show of affection. That was probably a nation thing again.  
I noticed that Russia was in a very good mood, but why wouldn't he be, he had finally gotten rid of his sister, and pushed her affection to me. I guess this is my punishment for pretending to be a nation, even though by now I had a pretty good feeling about it, it seemed as though my status was legitimized more and more every day, for now I even had a cat.  
And although Belarus was very much overly attached, I found that in time I had less and less objections to it.  
I'd hoped that her obsession with me wouldn't go too far, that she would only want to sleep in the room next to mine. Alas, my prayers were not heard, and she insisted on sleeping in the same bed. It's not that I was scared of her, that had long past, but it just didn't feel right to me. I felt like I shouldn't by lying in the same bed with a girl I hardly even knew. The least that can be said was that she didn't do more than sleep in the same bed, everything else would have been…uncomfortable. Even so, it took me a long time to fall asleep.

I woke up the next morning feeling well rested, the sunlight filtering in through the curtains, I noticed that there as something touching me. Belarus had, in her sleep presumably, cuddled up close to me, rested her head close to mine and settled a hand on my chest. It felt warm and soft, and I could hear her steady breathing. I ran a hand through her long platinum hair, careful not to wake her. When she was asleep, she really was cute, no doubt about it. Maybe this whole marriage thing wasn't that bad. Who knew?  
I felt her shifting slightly at my side, and then she opened her eyes. I thought for a moment that she'd be angry at finding herself in such a position, but apparently not, apparently she liked it, because I saw the tiniest hint of a smile on her face.  
I thought once again that I could live like this; it wasn't really that bad all in all.

"Today is the day we get married big brother." Belarus said.

I was surprised, so soon? But what about all the arrangements? The guests, the dress? The ceremony? Was that all arranged already, had Belarus made sure that she was ready at any moment in case Russia should have changed his mind?

As it turned out, although that would have been highly likely, it was not what actually happened. A wedding of two countries was a lot less spectacular that a wedding of two people. I should have expected that. The only thing required was two signatures on a form, and that was it. It was a simple marriage form.  
The atmosphere couldn't have been less festive in the room at that moment. I was nervous to say the least, and it was a wonder that I wasn't sweating from every one of my pores, especially with Russia's heavy coat on. Belarus though seemed pretty ecstatic though, she was quavering with excitement. The marriage form was lying on a table on front of us, and Russia was standing over it, smiling indulgently.  
Belarus was the first to sign, quickly putting down a neat curly signature. It was not even Cyrillic, but Latin spelling, as was the entire document. Then it was my turn to go forward and sign it.  
There was no turning back now, if I didn't do this then everything would be lost, and I'd be dead. I had some last doubts. I could just jump out of the window and run away. But where would I go? Those doubts were soon eclipsed however by some desires I never experienced before, not openly anyway. First there was the fact that Belarus was a looker, and in this world, where that sort of thing wasn't rare…well, obviously I wouldn't have any objections from THAT side. Then there was the prospect of power. As a nation I could shape world history, and do with it what I wanted to. I'm a variable that no one could have foreseen, and that amount of control, of influence made my heart flutter. Ah, the corruption of power, something that not many could withstand, and who was I to be an exception to that? I might as well go ahead and jump in it!  
I set the pen down on the paper, and for a moment I almost wanted to sign in my human name before I caught myself, and smiled.  
_Not anymore_  
I then signed in my proper country name, carefully, because I'd never signed anything in that name before and I didn't want to mess it up. I put the pen down and stepped back, wondering what would happen next.  
Russia took the contract from the table, looked at it and gave an approving nod.

"Da"

Belarus flung herself at me, giving me a crushing side-hug.

"Finally big brother! We are married! Married! Married!"

I smiled and returned her embrace, much to her surprise.

"This must be celebrated, comrades!" I declared.

"Da" Russia approved "I have invited some countries over for this purpose."

"Splendid comrade! Who?"

A lot of nations as it turned out.  
China was the first to arrive, together with what I assumed was Vietnam and a nation that I didn't know, but whose identity I could deduce all too well from the company he was in, undoubtedly North Korea. Strange, he didn't look at all how I imagined him.  
The last to arrive, late it must be said and unaccompanied, was Cuba. And when I saw them all gathered in the hall, I could sense that there was something wrong. Russia could have invited whomever he wanted to, hardly anyone would have dared to refuse, but he called for all of these nations specifically. And the thing that they all had in common was that all of them, at one time or another, had been under Soviet influence.  
This could only mean one thing.  
There was a party, sure, the guests made sure of that. Many of them had brought food, all except North Korea in fact, I wasn't surprised at that. And China's cooking was indeed excellent. Russia supplied the drinks, but I was careful not to drink too much, I didn't want to end up like last time.  
I briefly wondered where my cat, Ostroshka had gone to. I could have really used his company now, but I assumed that he was out and about, but I didn't blame him for it, it was in the nature of a cat after all.  
Belarus and I were the center of attention, always being congratulated again and again by everyone present. All the time she never relinquished my arm, but her grip was less tight, it even felt genuinely loving and caring.  
This was a large step for me, because in my mind, with my signature on that document, I had now relinquished every trace of my past life, and taken up my new one, as the glorious Soviet nation of Ostrogot.  
Presently we found ourselves in a circle, with all of the nations facing us, each holding a glass of something various. Belarus and I, we both had glasses of Vodka. Previously I'd been dodging every alcoholic drink, but I knew that a toast was coming, and this time I wasn't going to be able to avoid it.

China raised his glass "To the new alliance!"

Cuba raised his "To the couple"

"To vorld domination, da?" Russia tipped the contents of his glass down his throat, and everyone followed suit.

I swallowed the vodka, surprised to find that it didn't burn anymore. Somehow I'd grown accustomed to it. Then I realized what Russia had just said.

"Excuse me comrade Russia" I said "Vot did yu just say?"

He smiled.

"Ve can now start our plans to take over vold, da?"

No…this couldn't be true, this isn't what I had intended to do. Just moments before I had been enjoying myself, newly wed, and accepted my destiny as a nation, but now I felt sick. I didn't want world domination; I didn't come here to cause a war. And what would I fight with? My armies were fictional, my soldiers, tanks, missiles, all were fictional. And they were going to start a war just because they had my support? They thought they had my forces to help them? No way…just no way. I felt faint; the room seemed to revolving slightly, the smiling faces of the Red nations spinning in circles.  
Belarus noticed, and held me up.

"Vot is wrong big brother?" she asked, concerned but also slightly suspicious.

I held my head, trying to stop the aching.

"Nothing…nothing, I'm just so happy, it almost hurts."

The room had stopped spinning, and I straightened up.

"Vibachte comrades, I need some fresh air for a moment."

I turned to leave and Belarus made to follow me.

"Net, Belarus, yu stay here, I vill be right back."

I left as quickly as possible, stepping out the front door. The cool air felt soothing, and I breathed in deeply.  
This is not what I had wanted to happen and I had to find some way to correct this error, the only question would be how…  
On the other hand, by attacking other countries I was sure to gain legitimacy as a nation. I knew my history. I knew Israel had done the same thing, and it had worked…at least partially. Plus, with all the support that I had, Russia, China, North Korea, I had a huge number of forces backing me, more than any of the countries could ever muster. A giant unstoppable war machine that would roll over the world and put it under one flag, and I would be sure to make that my flag, once I had one.

"Da" I said to no one in particular "vorld is mine."

I felt something hard hit the side of my head. I felt like my head was about to split open. Then the ground raced up towards me and everything went black.


	10. Double Trouble

I regained consciousness lying on a hard, cold stone floor. One that felt somehow very, very familiar. I tried to move, but couldn't. My hands were tied behind my back, and my feet were bound together. The knots were tight, and when I tried to move my restrained limbs I felt the ropes cutting into my wrists and ankles.  
Breathing was also difficult; somebody had stuffed a rag in my mouth.  
I'd always though when saw someone gagged 'Why don't they just spit it out?'. The thing is, when it's in far enough, you can't it's impossible.  
That didn't sound wrong at all…  
And it's only by chance that my usually very sensitive gag reflex was contained at the moment. If I'd puked while gagged I might have chocked to death on my own vomit. Not a very good way to go.  
The room was dark, lit only by candles. An all too familiar sight, for it had been mere days since I'd last been here. There was no doubt anymore as to who had knocked me out and where I was now.  
I heard voices, coming from somewhere out of my field of view.

"Nice job America, you knocked him out stone cold." came England's stereotypically accented voice from somewhere off to the left.

"Yeah dude, that was pretty sweet the way I whacked him with my baseball bat. WHAM! And he hit the floor."

America, I knew it. The self-proclaimed protector of the free world and arch nemesis of communism.

"Yes, but it was due to my superior training that we were able to transport him out of there, without any of the others noticing."

"No it wasn't, I did all the really HARD work."

Their voices had risen considerably now.

"You qualify hitting someone from behind with a wooden bat as hard work? You surprise me, I knew you were lazy, but that you'd go this far…"

"Hey! I'm not lazy! Next time we kidnap somebody, you can hit them over the head!"

"Fine!"

I was lying in the middle of a pentagram again, even more intricate than the last one I'd encountered. Whatever they wanted to do, it was not going to go well for me. Being the subject of black magic was bad enough, but in the hands of England…I could die. Maybe that was what they were planning anyway. Couldn't they just have slit my throat? Was there more required to kill a nation than that?

"'e looks much better, all tied up on ze floor…"

France! Such perverted comments…only from him! No, no, I was not going to lie here and let myself get raped by France, no way! No effing way!  
Luckily England and America came to my aid.

"This is not the time for any perverse acts!"

"Dude, what's wrong with you."

France rounded on England.

"You're just jealous because I will not spread my amour to you, Britain!"

"Do you know where you can put your 'amour'?!"

I needed to get out of here, while they were all distracted. But the ropes were just too tight. All I managed to achieve with my twisting and turning was rolling around to face my captors.  
They immediately stopped the arguing and looked me in shock.

"Oh no…he's awake!" America was almost panicking.

"You didn't even manage to hit him hard enough! Bloody useless for anything!"

"I'm so scared at ze moment…vhat if zey find 'im?" he grabbed England by the collar "Vhat if zey find us?! I don't vant to die!"

England freed himself from France's grip and patted down his uniform.

"We'll just have to be quick about it then."

From nowhere he produced a spell book and a black cloak, throwing the latter around himself.

"Let's start this before we receive any unwanted company."

The other two nodded with determined expressions on their faces, stepping away from England.  
England opened his book, and began muttering an incantation under his breath, repeating it over and over, until it rose to an audible level.  
The Pentagram around me on the floor began to glow in the same purplish light as it had done the last time he'd used magic, when he summoned me.  
He repeated the incantation again, a bunch of nonsensical words tied together to one long spell.

"I commit you to the void from whence you came."

I struggled, harder than ever to move, to get out of the pentagram, but to no avail.

"BEGONE!"

I felt myself slipping away, disappearing. Goodbye cruel world. My brief existence as a nation was to end here, in this dark and unholy place.  
I closed my eyes, and braced myself for death.  
Nothing happened.  
It felt like I was still lying in the same place as before.

"England…why isn't he gone…?" I heard America's timid voice from somewhere.

I opened my eyes, and looked straight into a mirror. It was a very odd mirror. The face that looked back was like mine, yet seemed somehow…different. There was something out of place about it. It was softer, more feminine somehow. Then I noticed what was wrong. In this mirror, I wasn't gagged.  
I scrambled back as best as I could, still tied up as I was. Staring at me, lying in a position that had mirrored mine only moments before was…somebody. She was dressed in a red coat, similar to mine. She had an Ushanka on her head, also like mine, and her hair was also the same color as mine, but very long and tied in a braid.  
She moved over to me and took the gag from my mouth.  
I took deep breaths of air.

"Who are yu?" I gasped, although I already knew the answer.

"Dat is not important right now." she said with a Russian accent. I could tell that she wasn't imitating it however, this was genuine.

"How…? Vhy…? Vhat…?"

"Zat can be discussed later, da?" she said, and turned her eyes towards America, England and France, who were all frozen with shock "Ve need to take care of them first, da?"

Ah yes…them. I felt a surge of anger rise up within me, and nodded.

"Da."

I felt something I'd never felt before…an aura was rising around me, purple, emanating from my every pore and surrounding me from heat to toe. I knew it…Russia's clothing was more than just fabric. It had imbued me with a part of his powers.  
The ropes tying my ankles and wrists together disintegrated in the aura, and I rose to my feet as if I was floating. Next to me I could see that she also had the same aura around her, her face displaying what is most commonly referred to as a 'rapeface'. And what we had in mind at that moment was probably not very far off either.  
France was the first to speak.

"I…I sink ve should run avay now…"

"Britain…why are there two of them now?" America said, "One minus one is not supposed to equal two, it's supposed to equal one!"

England was lost for words.  
Our auras combined to fill half of the room.

"Stand fast my allies, we can fight them!" America shouted, trying to encourage the other two.

Then he saw that he was standing closest to us, with England and France edging away. At this, his heroism faltered.

"On second thought" he said, taking a careful step back "RUN AWAY!" he shouted in panic, and ran for the door.

"Hey! Don't just leave us here!"

All three of them converged on the door at the same time, fighting for who was going to through first. We caught up with them before anyone got to slip through the doorway.  
I lifted France up by his flashy blue cape, and flung him back into the middle of the room.  
I looked to see what she was doing, and was amazed to see that her long braid was acting alive, whipping this way and that like a tentacle, finally grabbing England by the legs and hoisting him up in the air.

"NO! My book!" he wailed as it fell out of his grasp and into her outstretched arms.

America was left the only one standing.  
I approached him with purpose, and saw him slowly shrink before me. I stood there, towering over him, and grabbed him by his bomber jacket, lifting him up off the ground, his feet left dangling. Had I grown suddenly taller?

"Let me down! Let me down! Let me down!" he shouted, trying to punch me and get free of my iron grip.

I let go of him with one hand, and drew it back, forming a fist. I don't know how I was able to hold his entire weight with just one arm, but it had something to do with the powers that Russia's coat had given me.  
America saw the punch coming, but was powerless to stop it.

"Die, capitalist pig."

My fist contacted with is face right on the noise, breaking his glasses. I felt something give way under my knuckles.  
I dropped him from my grasp, and let him collapse on the stone floor, clutching his broken nose that had started bleeding profusely.  
I turned to see what she was doing. She was still dangling England upside down, shaking him vigorously. I almost felt sorry for the poor guy. Then again, he had tried to send me to hell, so I felt like he deserved it.

"I think he has had enough, da? Yu can let him down." I told her.

Her fell face in disappointment.

"Yeah! Let me down you bloody moron! Stop it with the shaking, I'm getting all dizzy!"

He paid for calling her a moron. With a lazy flick of her braid she sent him flying through the room and smack into the opposite wall.

"Just vhen I vas having fun."

"Don't vorry, you vill get your chance."

"Ve vill get ou chance, da?"

"Da, I don't think dis vill remain unnoticed."

"Yu vanted to tell me who you vere."

"After all dis, yu are still in doubt?"

"Just say it."

She sighed in exasperation.

"I am Ostrogot, or Ostrogonian Soviet Socialist Republic."

"Da."

So I now had a female version of myself. 'Fem!Ostrogot' as she would be called. And I have to say, she was quite the looker. What I'm really saying is, is I would have hooked up with her, although that would have been either wrong, or narcissistic on a whole new level. I smiled. What an amusing train of thought I had there.  
We reached the door, and I stood back respectfully to let her pass through first.

"After yu, comrade."


	11. The Mother of All Battles

The thing about travelling from country to country as a nation is, that it's not merely as amazing as you would think it is. How do we get around so fast, going from one end of the globe to the other without the need for airplanes? Like Romano, just shooting up into the sky? No. I finally had the chance to find out for myself, and I have to say, it was not that much of a big deal really, rather insignificant in fact, so I won't waste any more time by describing it.

We got back to Moscow, me and my female counterpart, to Russia's house. I wondered whether they'd all gone out searching for me, or if they'd even noticed that I'd been kidnapped. My lovely Belarus would have noticed of course. That was out of the question, and to be honest I was surprised that she hadn't come bursting into England's cellar, sniffing me out like a bloodhound. I guess that there were limitations even to her obsessiveness.  
Either way, I was weary when I approached and knocked on the front door. I hadn't even touched the wood, when the door flew open and Belarus came flaying at me, knocking off me feet and sending sprawling on the stone path that led to the house through the garden. I was too dazed to notice that under normal circumstances, this would have ended in a cracked skull for me. As it was, it hardly even hurt.

"BIG BROTHER!" she shouted at me, clawing at the front of my coat "VHY DID YOU LEAVE ME! VHY DID YOU RUN AVAY?!"

She looked livid, her face contorted in the same mad expression as when she chased after me when I ran from her after her proposal. She had proceeded to shake my torso vigorously, banging my head on the stone hard. Again, this should have caused me serious harm, but it didn't. Nations didn't bruise so easily.

"Get off me Bela! Get off me!" I shouted at her.

"TELL MEEEE! TELL MEEEEEEE!"

I was surprised to see that tears had begun to form in her eyes, and were slowly starting to roll down her cheeks. Was this…real?

"THEN STOP SHAKING ME!"

She did. I felt a lump grow on the back of my head, courtesy of her hitting my head down again and again.

"I vas kidnapped! I vould never leave yu!"

She didn't calm down, but her anger was redirected, not at me, but at those who had kidnapped me.

"WHO?!" she screeched.

"It was America, England, and France."

In the blink of an eye, she was standing again, dagger drawn.

"I VILL KILL THEM! I VILL KILL THEM FOR HURTING MY BIG BROTHER!"

I also got up, feeling the back of my head, and sure enough, there was a sizable bruise growing right there.

"It too late, Bela. Ve already deal vith dem."

"WE?!"

I gestured at my female counterpart, who was standing next to the front door, watching the scene with a face devoid of any expression.  
For a moment, Belarus stood, immobile, then dashed at her, knife raised.

"YOU VILL NOT TAKE AWVAY MY BIG BROTHER! I VILL KILL YOU."

I was too late to grab her and stop her furious assault on my female self, but as it turned out, I didn't have to.  
Her braid whipped through the air, and fastened herself around Belarus' arm, stopping her dead. Belarus struggled, then drew an additional knife from the folds of her dress with her free hand, and made to stab at her opponent.  
I thought it was all over, but I was wrong yet again.  
The braid had unraveled itself in a about a nanosecond, and how she had two long strands of hair, wrapping around each of Belarus' arms. Her face was still incredibly passive, even though two knives were directed against her, and Belarus was breathing hotly in her face. she was looking less and less like me by the minute.

"Bela! It's not how yu think!"

"Who…is…she?!" Belarus managed to squeeze out through gritted teeth.

"She is me! England summoned her when he vas trying to destroy me!"

Realization dawned upon her.

"She…is you?"

Belarus stopped struggling, and the braids, let her arms go, knotted themselves back together, and fell down, inanimate as they were supposed to be. My female counterpart gave Belarus a haughty look and tossed her braid back again, not saying a word.  
Belarus put away her knives again. Secretly I was wondering just how many of those things she was hiding underneath her dress.  
Russia joined us, smiling as ever.

"You vill tell us vhat happened, da?" he said.

"Da, I vill." I replied "But let us go inside, comrade. Some of us need to take a minute to calm down."

We all sat down in the living room. The three of us on a sofa. In my left was my female counterpart, staring around placidly. On only right was Belarus, glaring at her across me. I felt like I was sitting in the No Man's Land between two enemy trenches. Russia meanwhile took a seat in the single high-backed armchair facing us, smiling as ever.

"Vell?" he said to me.

I started to recount to him the tale of what had happened to me, of how America had knocked me out the moment I'd stepped outside, and how they'd tried to get rid of me using England's black magic, and ended up duplicating me instead. All the while Russia listened intently, and I finished, he nodded, as if I h confirmed something in his mind.

"Then you know vhat must be done, da?"

"Da comrade," I agreed with him.

Belarus, who had been growing ever more restless the further I'd gone with my story, now burst out in anger.

"I VILL KILL THEM! I VLL KILL THEM FOR VHAT THEY DID TO MY BIG BROTHER!"

The aura of menacing started swirling around her.

"Kill…kill…kill…kill…kill…"

I wanted revenge. No one would treat the great and powerful country of Ostrogot like that and get away with it! No one! I would make them suffer for having caused me this humiliation. They tried to kill me; they had tried to make me disappear. They thought me weakened, but in fact they had only made me stronger, my resolve harder.

"Ve must assemble our forces." I told Russia "Everyone who vill fight for our cause. Ve vill vage var against anyone who dares oppose us, and ve shall obliterate dem. Ve vill roll over dem, our armies pouncing with a roar like a great bear from the east!"

Russia nodded again.

"I vill send for the rest to join us, and together ve vill meet them."

We were all very much hyped up in that moment. The thought of war, of the slaughter that was to ensure enflamed all of us in passionate hatred and anger. Our auras rose as one, until the room had darkened as if it were the dead of night, the purple and pinkish, red and black hues swirling like flames around us. It was phenomenal to say the least.  
The mood was broken however when I heard a scuffling sound from behind me, and turned my head just in time to see a strand of long brown hair disappearing around the corner. Someone had been listening.

The aura disappeared as fast as it had risen. I excused myself from the company and left them to make the necessary arrangements. I had no troops I could call up for the battle, so what was the point in hanging round. Besides, I could do my part by stopping our enemies gain a decisive tactical advantage.

I slowly crept outside of the living room, checking to see if no one was there. There wasn't, but I could hear the faintest of whispers. Further down the hall. Proceeded carefully, making sure to keep as quiet as I could, and thanked Russia that the floors were carpeted and muffled my heavy, boot-clad footfalls. I was growing ever closer, but before I was there I stopped, and looked to my right into the kitchen. I saw both Estonia and Latvia cowering under the table as if there was an earthquake. I took a step towards them, and the shrunk back. Someone was missing.

"Vhere is Lithuania?" I asked them in a cold tone.

Estonia just shook his head, as if he was trying to shake some torturous thought out of his ears. Latvia was quivering. Never mind, I knew where he was anyway. Ahead of me, the hall turned a corner, and the whispers were drawing ever close, until finally I could understand them.

"Poland! Poland, be quiet and listen to me, please!"

Lithuania was speaking in an imploring voice, using the old telephone just around the bend.

"You can tell me about your pony later, please Poland! There is something important I need to tell you!"

I relaxed. There was no need to hurry. Poland was sure to deter him much longer with something, and it would be ages before Lithuania could get anything across and warn him, and with him, the rest of the world.

"No…P-poland, I'm begging you! This is urgent! It's about Russia, and Belarus, and that new one, you know, the mean one, they're trying to-"

I could have none of that. I had been coming up behind Lithuania, and now the he was about to spill the beans, I put my one hand on his shoulder, making him fall silent immediately. With the other, I slowly pried the phone from his paralyzed grip and put it down on the fork, making the line go suddenly dead. Yes, it was slightly suspicious, but Poland would never be able to pick up the hint.  
I bent down to whisper in Lithuania's ear.

"Yu veren't just about to tell him vhat ve are planning to do, da?" I asked him.

He frantically shook his head, brown hair flying everywhere.

"To me, it sounded like yu vere going to tell him our plans…"

"N-n-n-no, Mr. Ostrogot, not at all!"

"'The mean one' am I? Vell, ve vill see about dat, da?"

The next few hours were…complete turmoil, I think that would be the best way to put it. Russia took care of Lithuania…I don't know what he did to him, and neither did I really care. We had a head start, that was all that mattered at the moment. We all gathered troops in one place, together with our allies, China, Cuba, Vietnam and North Korea. Even Belarus and Ukraine chipped some troops in.  
The thing about armies here was that, like the countries themselves, they were representative. There weren't several millions of troops gathering together in one place, instead, each nation brought around a dozen.  
Russia brought several long-range mounted missile launchers, China supplied infantry, Cuba and Vietnam brought Fighter planes. Belarus, Ukraine, North Korea and me, we all had infantry as well. In my case, they were Russian soldiers, masquerading as 'Ostrogonian'. Russia had been kind enough to lend them to me, since I had none of my own.  
I knew he had seen through my deception from the very start and this was the proof.  
Was this what he wanted? A third world war? It was hard to imagine, even for Russia. Whatever he wanted, I wanted to see people getting hurt.  
Together, we launched our assault, and it was easy going. We rolled over all of Northern and Eastern Europe; it was a blast, literally. We broke into the other nation's houses and beat them up if they didn't surrender. It was harmless really; no one ever got killed, just badly bruised and thrown into prison cells, but it was a lot of fun in my opinion, even if there wasn't any killing to be done. Belarus stuck with me during the fighting, and my female counterpart was always close by as well, although she preferred to do battle alone.  
China, Vietnam and North Korea had teamed up and were throwing down countries in the Far East left right and center. It was going pretty sweet, and we had made enormous progress before anyone even realized what was happening.  
Now they saw the error of their ways. Now they saw that I was truly a nation, that I was the great and powerful Ostrogot! And I would forever brand my name into their skins, so that they would remember, who defeated them.

* * *

He pauses in his story.

"That sounds like a very good ending, doesn't it? Well, at least for me it does, being ruler of the world at that moment and everything. Alas…" he takes a sip of Vodka from the bottle again "there is more to be told than that."

Footsteps are heard and moments later, Ostrogot's female version appears in the doorway to the room.

"Who are yu talking to, brother?"

He turns his head in her direction.

"Just guest, sister" he says, once again in a Russian accent.

"Vell, make sure yu hurry. Belarus has been bothering me for over an hour, vanting me to tell yu that yu should go to bed."

He sighs.

"Tell her dat I vill be right zere, I only have to finish story, da?"

"Da." She replies grudgingly, and walks away.

He turns his head back to its original position.

"Yes, that's her all right" he says in his normal voice again "Beautiful, isn't she? And she has a very nice pair of-"

He takes another gulp of Vodka.

"-eyes. Just like mine, wouldn't you agree? Oh, and we're 'siblings' officially. Twins. Even though nothing could be further from the truth. No one dares say something to the contrary however."

He pauses for a minute to think, in which a cat with fur the color of hay, slinks into the room, prowls around his feet, and then lies down on the carpet.

"Where was I? Ah, yes, the story. Well everything was going very, very well, and then…and then…" he smiles "things got a lot more interesting."

* * *

Our streak had to end some day, sometime our enemies had to band together and try to stand against us. Luckily we saw them coming. Who finally showed up to stand in our way wasn't surprising at all. The old allies were back together, with the obvious exception of Russia and China. America, Britain and France had been joined by Japan, Germany, Italy, Spain and finally Prussia. It was odd, I had expected more of the world to face us, but apparently they didn't. Okay, we may have had the Scandinavian countries all locked up, and most of the rest of the world under our control, but still…some wanted to stay neutral, naturally. Belgium, Netherlands and Switzerland. I wondered what we would do with them…  
In any case, we suddenly found ourselves facing the enemy alliance, which I will just call 'Allies' for simplicity. We ourselves had all gathered together, all being 'Soviets'. The battlefield was…a field, literally. I can't remember where, but that was unimportant anyway. We all had our troops behind us, and even though they weren't many, it was still very impressive to me.  
The field was not even particularly large; we were barely fifty meters apart. Again, if you're not familiar with metrics, look it up. Russians use them as well. I could tell that this was not going to be a battle of tactical finesse, far from it. I suspected that we were just going to throw everything we had at each other, and I wasn't very fond of that. Don't' get me wrong, we were well armed, but so were the Allies.  
England had brought a pair of attack helicopters, France jeeps, Germany a small squad of tanks. America had brought air superiority to the Allies with planes that I doubted Cuba's Soviet-Era MIGs could compete with. Spain and Japan had some infantry. Prussia and Italy had both brought close to nothing, Prussia because 'his awesomeness was the greatest weapon of all' and Italy because he was a coward, simply put. He did have a white flag ready for every Allied country. That must have been a great morale boost.  
We were more to be sure, going with the old Soviet motto of 'Mass has its own class', but the Allies were better equipped. As long as things didn't go nuclear, I was sure that there was a way we could win. Meanwhile I was convinced that I was a legitimate nation; there was no way that I could die. But on the other hand, a nuclear bomb or two could effectively destroy a nation's vital functions, so…well, at least I hoped that no one would go for MY vital regions…but wait a second…technically, I didn't have any. I didn't know whether I should rejoice in my invincibility, or cry at the fact that I was missing a very important part of my nation-ness, and an even more important part of my manliness if I'd interpreted the term correctly.  
I was getting distracted by things that were not relevant to the destruction of the Allies, probably due to nerves.  
There was sure to be some banter in the beginning, coming mostly from the Allied side. They did have the two nations on their side that certainly like to talk most about being victors. Prussia and America.  
I was not to be disappointed, as after a few minutes of watching and waiting, contemplating each other, America stepped out of the line, clutching an American flag on a pole that he'd brought with him for some reason, no doubt as a prop for the extensive speech he was about to give us.  
There was no wind however, so the flag hung down limply to one side. I smirked at this. To me, it was symbolic.

Then he began to speak.

"My fellow Allies!" he addressed the nations behind him "I have long feared that this day would come on which our freedom would be endangered! I told you again and again that this might happen, that we had to protect our freedom! And you told me that I was wrong. Nevertheless I prepared for this event! And now that the day is here where our freedom is threatened, I am ready to face it!"

To me it sounded like the load of trash that was to be expected from America. Lots of self-praise and always the mention of 'freedom' in almost every sentence, as if he considered his audience to be too stupid for anything else, which for all I knew he probably did. It did not matter however, the message was clear, and the Allies, although they had to listen to America's incredibly horrible speech, didn't seem to waver in their resolve. I knew however that some of the nations would be happy to hang back while the others did the work for them, and that some nations would be ready to take credit for victories that weren't theirs.  
I was not going to let it come that for however.  
None of us Soviets wasted much time on speeches. We didn't need any more inspiration than we already had.  
America had clearly expected someone of us to take the word, but when none did, he ended up looking rather foolish, holding the pole with the limp flag in his one hand.  
There was nothing else for it.

"Attack!" he yelled, and as one, the entire army started forward, moving in one giant mass. Tanks rumbling, the blades of helicopters whirring, jeeps rolling at fast speed, closing in on our line quickly.  
I stood, along with the rest of the Soviets, strong and firm. My aura erupted around me, and so did Belarus' next to me and Russia's further down the line.  
I knew that this was where it all ended, and I was the one that would.  
I grabbed the standard from an officer of my infantry, depicting a red and black version of the Soviet flag, took it in my hand, and walked forward to meet them.

A battle like this would rip the earth apart for sure, completely change it. I didn't want that. I hated change. All of us Soviets did. It's who we were. And this needed to be ended, but how? Well, to a history nerd like I was, the solution was all too simple.

I planted the standard firmly into the ground. A sudden wind picked up and made it flutter slightly, infused with my aura. I held out ma hand to the advancing enemy that was almost upon me.

"Stop!" I commanded.

And miraculously, they did, all at once, with a great amount of screeching, clanking and whirring, just two meters in front of me, the entire line.

"Stop." I said again "Dere is no need for dis."

"Huh?" America said, completely baffled.

"I only vant to make peace." I said.

I couldn't see Russia at that very moment as he was behind me, but if I could have, I would have seen him smile his most satisfied grin yet.


	12. Epilogue: Make Love, Not War

"Well," he says "there you go, that's the story. Boring you say? I agree, a bit of an anti-climax after all of that fuss, but often it is like that. What's left to say is that we made peace with the Allies. Boy, were they surprised."

He smirks.

"It came to me that the only reason I'd ever wanted war is to prove that I really was a nation. I'd done everything a sovereign nation could do, see?"

He counts off on his fingers.

"Trade. Make allies. Declare War. Make peace. That's it. That's all it took. And I was rewarded for my brashness too."

He reaches into his coat and produces an overly large golden coin.

"Do you know what this is? I'm sure you know its name, even if you don't recognize its shape."

He turns it over in his hands.

"This is the Alfred Nobel Peace Prize"

He looks up.

"That's right; they gave me the Peace Prize for single-handedly declaring and ending World War Three. Isn't that nice of them?"

He beams with delight.

"Now Switzerland isn't the only one who can beat people with his Peace Prize. Hey!" he calls out in a Russian accent "Litva!"

Moments later Lithuania pokes his head around the corner, a look of great foreboding in his face.

"Y-yes…Mr. Ostrogot, what can I-?"

Ostrogot had thrown the large coin, and it hit Lithuania on the forehead, bouncing off onto the floor. Lithuania disappeared again, without so much as a sigh of pain.

"I love doing that!" Ostrogot remarks, tears of laughter in his eyes "He never sees it coming."

He looks at the Peace Prize on the floor.

"Why no, I don't care much for it, how did you guess that? It's just a medal after all."

He takes another sip from the bottle of Vodka.

"Want some? No? I thought not, you don't look the type. You'd rather drink it with Coke or something I guess. No can do I'm afraid, no capitalist drinks in Ostrogot. Just good ol' Kvass and Vodka!"

He laughs out loud.

"Ah yes, what's there left to say? Well, Russia gave me land. Lots of it. Everything from Kamchatka in the east to the Ural Mountains in the west. As I said, lots. We even found a city with an old Soviet base, renamed it 'Tsentral'nyy gorod' and made it into my capital."

He puts his hand to his chest.

"You know," he imitates an Italian accent "where my heart a-lies"

He chuckles again.

"Then I moved into this house here together with my now sister and my wife Belarus, and began my proper existence as a nation. I still fly the hammer and sickle, I'm still openly communist, but I'm a peace-loving nation. Therefore the prize."

There is a creak of floorboards and Belarus appears in the doorway to the room, dressed in only skimpy black lingerie.

"Big Brother" she says, in a whisper that is both alluring and terrifying "Von't you come to be now? I'm vaiting for you…"

"Just go ahead" Ostrogot answers, again in a Russian accent "I vill be right there vith you."

"I'm vaiting for you…" she says, and disappears again, soundlessly.

Ostrogot chuckles again.

"Isn't she marvelous? That look that suggests she wants to seduce you and pull the skin from your body at the same time. Well…"

He gets up out of the armchair, startling the cat at his feet, which he then bends down to stroke affectionately.

"I have to excuse myself. Duty calls." He gets up and makes to walk away, then pauses, and turns his head again "Unless you want to join us of course." He smirks slily "Eastern Europeans are very much into that sort of thing."

* * *

Thank you for reading.


End file.
